In the Waiting

If you’ve been around long, you probably know my blog posts are catered around a two main themes: weddings and business. I’m either trying to help y’all succeed at something you’re working towards in your biz, or I’m offering advice to anyone who is getting married and planning a wedding.

Rarely do I take much time to talk about anything truly personal or behind the scenes….

But I got an email in December 2018 that I had literally no idea how to respond to, and I finally feel ready to talk about it. I think it’s important to talk about it too.

And it’s not that this email was mean, cutting, sassy, accusatory, or anything of the sort. It was the fact that I did not have an answer. I was completely stumped. And then I was angry, because how dare they ask me something I can’t answer.

First of all, not their fault.

Second of all, obviously I’m sensitive about the topic and my knee-jerk reaction was to be totally ticked off. But here’s the reality: I DON’T have all the answers. I’m not someone that can fix all your problems, or give you any advice you need, because sometimes I don’t have the right words to say, or I simply. don’t. know. *gasp*

In my “Year in Review 2018” blog post, I touched on the fact that my husband is searching for a job and we will most likely be moving during 2019. As of the end of February, the right fit still hasn’t come along, so we are truly stuck in limbo as we continue to extend our lease here in Marietta, GA and wait for the next “thing” (whatever and wherever that might be).

My blog posts usually get sent out in some sort of newsletter or email blast, and I had someone respond to the email about my 2018 Year in Review and asked me, “Just curious if you have or have heard any good advice for this period of time in business?” They were referring to the period of time in business when you literally have no idea what’s next. This person was also going through a similar transition, one where their significant other would be looking for work, and they could possibly be moving anywhere in the country.

Girlfriend, no. I don’t have any advice. I am literally just getting through each day ;)

For weeks I let that email sit there, wondering how to respond. And eventually I told myself, “It’s ok to not respond”, and I moved it into a different inbox folder.

I’m not the kind of person that doesn’t like knowing. There’s a word for this: control-freak. Anyone feel me? It means that waiting is kind of the worst, and not knowing is just outrageously infuriating because there’s all sorts of things you’re trying to plan like flying to friend’s weddings, driving to family vacation, not to mention planning for your own business.

You can’t buy plane tickets if you don’t know whether or not the Atlanta airport will be the closest airport to you in July or August or whenever. Who knows! The closest airport might be in Dallas, TX or San Francisco, CA or freakin’ Alaska (not really, we have no intention to move to Alaska). You can’t tell your own family whether or not you will be at your cousin’s wedding or what day you’ll show up for the wedding weekend because you don’t know if you’ll still be able to drive there in May.

I have all sorts of things I want to do for my business, like turn it into a LLC instead of a DBA (more on the difference here), but I’m not going to do that when I could possibly be moving out of the state of Georgia any moment.

I feel like there are all sorts of verses and mantras about waiting.

Here’s one I found on Google: “Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible”. - Mandy Hale

Beautiful, right? Easier said than done, Mandy!

The truth? It’s hard to go out and be with friends. I don’t know if they’ll be the same friends around us in a few months. It’s hard to go to church and always hear people ask my husband, “How’s the job search?” Yeah, yeah, we can make small talk all day and pretend like it’s fine but when it comes down to it, it sucks. But you can’t really say that to people, can you?

“It sucks”.

I am lucky, because my job allows me to travel anywhere. The majority of my clients don’t live in GA, so that part is easy. But everything else? It’s really hard.

One of the main things I’ve done is my business is cut ties with anything that requires me to schedule in-person events or deadlines. I completely got rid of wood signs, wedding signage, and day-of goods because most of those jobs are done for local people. I also completely cut workshops out of my business model for 2019. They might come back later, but there’s no way I’m scheduling something for October when I don’t know if I’ll be here then (duh).

There are small changes and tweaks that I can make so I won’t go insane. But there’s also just so much I’m waiting for. Wondering what’s next is currently the biggest contingency in my life, because all of our planning relies on where we will end up living. It could be here in GA (I’d love to stay) or it could be somewhere else.

We just don’t know.

I will say though, my husband & I did buy John Mayer tickets for August 11th at State Farm Arena in Atlanta… so here’s to hoping we really DO STAY here so we can actually go to that concert! And if we can’t go? I guess we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

If you’re reading this and you’re the person that sent me that email, please know it’s ok that you asked… I just didn’t have a single answer or response that I felt would’ve been helpful to you. I barely have enough strength to tell myself on some days that it will all be ok!

But someday I want to be able to look back at this blog post and know that I made it. That WE made it. So here’s to the waiting. Let it end as soon as possible.